Tuesday, March 2, 2021

On KANYADAAN (or the giving away of the bride)

Spring had lasted long that year, I remember well, Mother dear

Long, long remained our delightful garden in full bloom

Summer fled past, then Autumn,

And winter came all too soon. 


Jubilant I was, for in my heady prime

Winter’s treachery, I could not define

In the warm winter afternoons,  

Star struck eyes only saw the blue skies, 

Felt the kiss of the Sun on virgin skin, 

And never dwelt, otherwise.


That winter, remember? 

When in marriage you gave me away

To blossom in another’s garden

You did say...

Mummy, why couldn’t I have remained? 

To blossom, or to wither

But remained in yours

Why must daughters be given away, Mummy, 

To enter another’s doors?

And to dwell therein 

And to make a home

Amidst callous strangers

We must call our own..

They do not let me grow roots

And undermine me all the time

And lest I should flower 

They have pruned me in my prime.


My hopes are dashed and spirits crushed,

My gentler feelings repulsed, want me to run away,

It pains, to stay.


All natural urges, persistent,

Yet thus firmly suppressed

Leave me scathed, wounded, 

recoiling further and distressed.

And once again, I wonder aloud

Is the bridal red, a woman’s shroud? 


When on that lonesome journey 

On that fateful day she embarks

Expected to survive alone

In a sea of hungry sharks.

With pirates for shipmates 

Gladly they’d throw her overboard-

The Captain, a one eyed crook

Professes to be her lord.


It befalls upon her to climb up the mast 

To any calamity to foresee, deal with it 

Learning the ropes, is only doing her duty.

Even then it’s a mighty favor

She’s lodged on the vessel afloat 

After all this endurance, endeavor cycle

She’s accused of rocking the boat.


Come summer sun, with its scorching heat

Or vicious winds blowing, that storms incite

Choppy seas, roughness all around

The stars shine sadly at night.


Both man and nature thus contrive

And injust treachery thus abound  

The moon rising high, comes and goes

Without protest, not making a sound.


In those quiet moments

The foolish girl gazes heavenwards

And her starry dreams revived

Keep her sane, as wearily she goes on 

That’s how so long she has survived.


The world is round, so they say

And where they started, they must meet 

Those she had left behind will come 

With fragrant flowers to welcome her and greet.


But till then it’s a long wait,

The captain says this is the way of life 

As they stand between sea and sky-

And good girls do as they are bid

They never complain, nor defy.


He tells her one must learn to face life’s facts,

And shows her the darkness of the night;

But Mummy, your little girl remains unchanged

She can see, only the stars, in the heavens shining bright.

Veenu Banga copyright 1982.


This is one of my other ‘Sunflowers.’ For the longest time, I couldn’t find it, and strangely enough I remembered enough of it to regenerate it so it has a sense of continuity, makes sense in the whole, reads the same, yet new. This is the original version. The other versions are written in the last couple of years, as I longed to find and revive this, give it a breather. The lines I wrote later to ‘complete’ this poem, made complete sense to me at the time, and seemed to fill in cracks that may have been missing. I hope to make the effort to find the additional verses, and unite them with their mothership. 

Veenu Banga copyright March 3, 2021

12:35 am.

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