Its two years today from the day my mother passed away, gone to be with her beloved mother, father brothers and dear sister. She was the last member of the family unit, (her parents and siblings) that walked the Earth.
As Hindus and Sikhs, we believe in reincarnation. Some say that the souls return to be near their dear ones, and this also facilitates the fulfillment of Karma. So I suppose I believe in reincarnation, being raised in a Sikh household that also followed the Hindu traditions. However, I am not very clear on it, and cannot fathom it reasonably, having has no intimate experience with it.
October 16, in 2015 was on a Friday. It was the 289th day of the year. It was also the Fourth day of the important and prominent Hindu Festival of Navrartri. She observed it religiously. I was not with her that year, and have no idea what she did or did not do that day. She had become quite frail and towards the last of her days she looked quite emaciated. It seems her breathing and pulse both became slow, till she finally breathed her last at some point that evening.
I was in Brussels and could not make it in time for the cremation. To be honest, I could not imagine her being dead, let alone being cremated. It was hard for me to comprehend this loss, even though she was 92, and I should have been prepared for it. My children offered to come with me, but I was very resistant. I could not go and see her empty room. It was a very hard thing for me to accept, because for all practical purposes, I became an orphan that day.
There is nothing remarkable, special or unique in my experience of her passing. People die every day, and someday we all will die. Yet, why is this event hard on us? Why does an adult have denial or other issues with the passing of a parent? Yet, when they are living, we take them for granted. We forget that the next breath in any life is not guaranteed, that death is the one certainty that is promised, with every life that comes on Earth.
So, here it is. Two years on, I am feeling the grief come on now. I feel her loss, its an eternal loss. What is Eternal? Eternity is where our life ends, and we foolishly think its something for ever. As if we will never die. There is no forever. Missing my mother, the grief, are all part of the journey. As is the momentous joys we had together. I am what she helped me become. A part of her lives in me, a huge part of me is made up of her, by her. Her nurturing ensures she survives in memory. Mine, and all those who loved her, and perhaps many of those she loved. That I suppose is Eternity. When we love, and are in return loved, we create our Eternity.
October 16, 2017.
Copyright Veenu Banga.
As Hindus and Sikhs, we believe in reincarnation. Some say that the souls return to be near their dear ones, and this also facilitates the fulfillment of Karma. So I suppose I believe in reincarnation, being raised in a Sikh household that also followed the Hindu traditions. However, I am not very clear on it, and cannot fathom it reasonably, having has no intimate experience with it.
October 16, in 2015 was on a Friday. It was the 289th day of the year. It was also the Fourth day of the important and prominent Hindu Festival of Navrartri. She observed it religiously. I was not with her that year, and have no idea what she did or did not do that day. She had become quite frail and towards the last of her days she looked quite emaciated. It seems her breathing and pulse both became slow, till she finally breathed her last at some point that evening.
I was in Brussels and could not make it in time for the cremation. To be honest, I could not imagine her being dead, let alone being cremated. It was hard for me to comprehend this loss, even though she was 92, and I should have been prepared for it. My children offered to come with me, but I was very resistant. I could not go and see her empty room. It was a very hard thing for me to accept, because for all practical purposes, I became an orphan that day.
There is nothing remarkable, special or unique in my experience of her passing. People die every day, and someday we all will die. Yet, why is this event hard on us? Why does an adult have denial or other issues with the passing of a parent? Yet, when they are living, we take them for granted. We forget that the next breath in any life is not guaranteed, that death is the one certainty that is promised, with every life that comes on Earth.
So, here it is. Two years on, I am feeling the grief come on now. I feel her loss, its an eternal loss. What is Eternal? Eternity is where our life ends, and we foolishly think its something for ever. As if we will never die. There is no forever. Missing my mother, the grief, are all part of the journey. As is the momentous joys we had together. I am what she helped me become. A part of her lives in me, a huge part of me is made up of her, by her. Her nurturing ensures she survives in memory. Mine, and all those who loved her, and perhaps many of those she loved. That I suppose is Eternity. When we love, and are in return loved, we create our Eternity.
October 16, 2017.
Copyright Veenu Banga.
