Spring had lasted long that year, I remember well, Mother dear
Long, long remained our delightful garden in full bloom
Summer fled past, then Autumn,
And winter came all too soon.
Jubilant I was, for in my heady prime
Winter’s treachery, I could not define
In the warm winter afternoons,
Star struck eyes only saw the blue skies,
Felt the kiss of the Sun on virgin skin,
And never dwelt, otherwise.
That winter, remember?
When in marriage you gave me away
To blossom in another’s garden
You did say...
Mummy, why couldn’t I have remained?
To blossom, or to wither
But remained in yours
Why must daughters be given away, Mummy,
To enter another’s doors?
And to dwell therein
And to make a home
Amidst callous strangers
We must call our own..
They do not let me grow roots
And undermine me all the time
And lest I should flower
They have pruned me in my prime.
My hopes are dashed and spirits crushed,
My gentler feelings repulsed, want me to run away,
It pains, to stay.
All natural urges, persistent,
Yet thus firmly suppressed
Leave me scathed, wounded,
recoiling further and distressed.
And once again, I wonder aloud
Is the bridal red, a woman’s shroud?
When on that lonesome journey
On that fateful day she embarks
Expected to survive alone
In a sea of hungry sharks.
With pirates for shipmates
Gladly they’d throw her overboard-
The Captain, a one eyed crook
Professes to be her lord.
It befalls upon her to climb up the mast
To any calamity to foresee, deal with it
Learning the ropes, is only doing her duty.
Even then it’s a mighty favor
She’s lodged on the vessel afloat
After all this endurance, endeavor cycle
She’s accused of rocking the boat.
Come summer sun, with its scorching heat
Or vicious winds blowing, that storms incite
Choppy seas, roughness all around
The stars shine sadly at night.
Both man and nature thus contrive
And injust treachery thus abound
The moon rising high, comes and goes
Without protest, not making a sound.
In those quiet moments
The foolish girl gazes heavenwards
And her starry dreams revived
Keep her sane, as wearily she goes on
That’s how so long she has survived.
The world is round, so they say
And where they started, they must meet
Those she had left behind will come
With fragrant flowers to welcome her and greet.
But till then it’s a long wait,
The captain says this is the way of life
As they stand between sea and sky-
And good girls do as they are bid
They never complain, nor defy.
He tells her one must learn to face life’s facts,
And shows her the darkness of the night;
But Mummy, your little girl remains unchanged
She can see, only the stars, in the heavens shining bright.
Veenu Banga copyright 1982.
This is one of my other ‘Sunflowers.’ For the longest time, I couldn’t find it, and strangely enough I remembered enough of it to regenerate it so it has a sense of continuity, makes sense in the whole, reads the same, yet new. This is the original version. The other versions are written in the last couple of years, as I longed to find and revive this, give it a breather. The lines I wrote later to ‘complete’ this poem, made complete sense to me at the time, and seemed to fill in cracks that may have been missing. I hope to make the effort to find the additional verses, and unite them with their mothership.
Veenu Banga copyright March 3, 2021
12:35 am.
