There was a shift I felt inside me recently, in the last couple of days actually, that came about in the most uncanniest of ways. Like an earthquake, which is first felt physically and then registers, it was exactly the same. I felt 'it' first in my body (my mouth to be exact), and then it 'registered' like a gut wrenching stab in my subconscious. As it did then, it gives me goosebumps and sends shivers down my spine to even write about it.
So, what happened? It was on Thursday, September 4, 2014 that on an impulse I mindlessly pulled out a packet of 'junk' food and served myself the mixture of deep fried and spiced lentils, nuts, and assorted other stuff like rice flakes etc. I was not even tempted to eat it. Perhaps I was a tad hungry and wanted a nibble, but instead of the usual raisins, nuts or a banana, I just picked up this open packet. Perhaps because it was kept near the tea bags and I was debating whether I should brew myself a cup.
What is so appalling about this is? Just that I have not touched any of these things in months. No desire to either. Anyway, I scoop out a little and pop it into my mouth, and suddenly feel a shiver go down my spine. It tastes horrible and I want to spit it out. I don't, because it will be throwing 'food'. Next thing I hear in my subconscious, a very nasty remark that seems to resound in my ears like it was just being spoken. I had long forgiven, forgotten and moved on. It was a barrage of malevolence uttered years ago, in 2002, in a place of near sanctity. It came unexpectedly, like a stab in my heart. It was unsolicited, undeserved, hurtful, mean, and downright cruel, considering it came from someone who is traditionally supposed to be a protector.
I still do not know if the unexpectedness hurt more or the remark did. Imagine one goes to a familiar and beloved church or a family temple for respite, and the priest shows up. You look up to them with respect and humility. Without even flinching he suddenly berates you and almost throws you out of what you thought was a sanctuary. It stuns you to silence. Because you are under the roof of a higher authority, you hardly believe it. You slink into your inner reserves of stillness to preserve the sanctity of the surroundings. It was exactly like that.
I do not regret leaving the incident undisputed. If ever there is a circumstance to take the high road, it was this. When others are involved, who may be injured in the process of salvaging one's transient self respect, it did not seem worth it. It took me almost eight years to get over the incident, and in a flash, no sooner had the salt touched my tongue, than it came flooding back, with all its vengeance and violence. Nonetheless, it still took me a couple of hours to deflect it.
What I realized was my body revolting with this 'food' (not) just as my Spirit had then revolted at the poisonous dart of the barrage of thoughtless and callous words. So how did these two connect, twelve years later?
The US Geological Survey website (http://earthquake.usgs.gov/learn/kids/eqscience.php) describes an earthquake thus:
"While the edges of faults are stuck together, and the rest of the block is moving, the energy that would normally cause the blocks to slide past one another is being stored up. When the force of the moving blocks finally overcomes the friction of the jagged edges of the fault and it unsticks, all that stored up energy is released. The energy radiates outward from the fault in all directions in the form of seismic waves like ripples on a pond. The seismic waves shake the earth as they move through it, and when the waves reach the earth’s surface, they shake the ground and anything on it.."
In my personal journey of striving to achieve the mind, body and spirit balance, like many of us, I too have been flirting with several forms of meditation. I use the word flirting, because you try to get to understand and know the process, without investing too much of yourself in its creed, until you are sure it is right for you. Despite the distance, and at the same time, your heart is involved in the liaison. So there is that tension and pressure building up, because you're not merely ships passing in the night, but much more than that, even if you eventually pass it by.
When you go deeper into meditation and you connect your front and back channels, it is in your Solar Plexus that the connection takes place. Your 'gut' so to speak, is where it all comes together. As you go deeper and stay in it longer, the Energy builds up, and you channel it, and thus you continue in your bliss. It is a very powerful force. You cannot jerk yourself out of it, without some 'seismic' activity. This is what happened to me that day. It was a shocking, disgusting, affront to all my hard work, my struggles to purify body, mind and spirit.
That first mouthful on my tongue was the 'seismic' activity. It was my body repelling the negativity of the food. It was not good for my gut, nor what my gut desired. It was not new to me, but it was like that bad, or rather, the worst of my memories, and my 'gut' instincts revolted. Like an earthquake, first in my body and almost instantaneously in my subconscious. It took me but an instant to come to this realization. I was secretly pleased, because it meant I was progressing in my spiritual journey and my body and my senses were able to harness my intuitive wisdom; well, intuitively!
Two days later, a Sahaja sister, Saumya, posted an extract from (H.H. Shree Mataji Nirmala Devi) Mother's talk in Delhi in 1976, on "Having a good tongue". For me, it was a sign. Coming from someone who embodies my mother for me, since my mother was indoctrinated into Sahaja and it became her regular practice. It was also confirmation of what I had felt. Coming as it did, through Mother's words, it was both humbling and heartening at the same time. A quiet Euphoria, quiet because it comes with much responsibility. You know that you must never revert back to your old decrepit, discarded ways.
So why I am writing this now, why am I sharing this very deep and personal insight about this experience of an uplifting shift in my consciousness, especially when I am usually silent about these things when it comes to my personal journey. I think it is because of Saumya's post and what it did for me.
Perhaps you have felt these 'siesmic' shifts in your consciousness, and in your inner world. It becomes my duty to pay it forward, so that you can revel in the advancement, and be propelled further towards the attainment of your goals. After all, can we move forward and onwards, unless we know we are on the right track, and getting results?
Copyright© 2014 by Veenu Banga
So, what happened? It was on Thursday, September 4, 2014 that on an impulse I mindlessly pulled out a packet of 'junk' food and served myself the mixture of deep fried and spiced lentils, nuts, and assorted other stuff like rice flakes etc. I was not even tempted to eat it. Perhaps I was a tad hungry and wanted a nibble, but instead of the usual raisins, nuts or a banana, I just picked up this open packet. Perhaps because it was kept near the tea bags and I was debating whether I should brew myself a cup.
What is so appalling about this is? Just that I have not touched any of these things in months. No desire to either. Anyway, I scoop out a little and pop it into my mouth, and suddenly feel a shiver go down my spine. It tastes horrible and I want to spit it out. I don't, because it will be throwing 'food'. Next thing I hear in my subconscious, a very nasty remark that seems to resound in my ears like it was just being spoken. I had long forgiven, forgotten and moved on. It was a barrage of malevolence uttered years ago, in 2002, in a place of near sanctity. It came unexpectedly, like a stab in my heart. It was unsolicited, undeserved, hurtful, mean, and downright cruel, considering it came from someone who is traditionally supposed to be a protector.
I still do not know if the unexpectedness hurt more or the remark did. Imagine one goes to a familiar and beloved church or a family temple for respite, and the priest shows up. You look up to them with respect and humility. Without even flinching he suddenly berates you and almost throws you out of what you thought was a sanctuary. It stuns you to silence. Because you are under the roof of a higher authority, you hardly believe it. You slink into your inner reserves of stillness to preserve the sanctity of the surroundings. It was exactly like that.
I do not regret leaving the incident undisputed. If ever there is a circumstance to take the high road, it was this. When others are involved, who may be injured in the process of salvaging one's transient self respect, it did not seem worth it. It took me almost eight years to get over the incident, and in a flash, no sooner had the salt touched my tongue, than it came flooding back, with all its vengeance and violence. Nonetheless, it still took me a couple of hours to deflect it.
What I realized was my body revolting with this 'food' (not) just as my Spirit had then revolted at the poisonous dart of the barrage of thoughtless and callous words. So how did these two connect, twelve years later?
The US Geological Survey website (http://earthquake.usgs.gov/learn/kids/eqscience.php) describes an earthquake thus:
"While the edges of faults are stuck together, and the rest of the block is moving, the energy that would normally cause the blocks to slide past one another is being stored up. When the force of the moving blocks finally overcomes the friction of the jagged edges of the fault and it unsticks, all that stored up energy is released. The energy radiates outward from the fault in all directions in the form of seismic waves like ripples on a pond. The seismic waves shake the earth as they move through it, and when the waves reach the earth’s surface, they shake the ground and anything on it.."
In my personal journey of striving to achieve the mind, body and spirit balance, like many of us, I too have been flirting with several forms of meditation. I use the word flirting, because you try to get to understand and know the process, without investing too much of yourself in its creed, until you are sure it is right for you. Despite the distance, and at the same time, your heart is involved in the liaison. So there is that tension and pressure building up, because you're not merely ships passing in the night, but much more than that, even if you eventually pass it by.
When you go deeper into meditation and you connect your front and back channels, it is in your Solar Plexus that the connection takes place. Your 'gut' so to speak, is where it all comes together. As you go deeper and stay in it longer, the Energy builds up, and you channel it, and thus you continue in your bliss. It is a very powerful force. You cannot jerk yourself out of it, without some 'seismic' activity. This is what happened to me that day. It was a shocking, disgusting, affront to all my hard work, my struggles to purify body, mind and spirit.
That first mouthful on my tongue was the 'seismic' activity. It was my body repelling the negativity of the food. It was not good for my gut, nor what my gut desired. It was not new to me, but it was like that bad, or rather, the worst of my memories, and my 'gut' instincts revolted. Like an earthquake, first in my body and almost instantaneously in my subconscious. It took me but an instant to come to this realization. I was secretly pleased, because it meant I was progressing in my spiritual journey and my body and my senses were able to harness my intuitive wisdom; well, intuitively!
Two days later, a Sahaja sister, Saumya, posted an extract from (H.H. Shree Mataji Nirmala Devi) Mother's talk in Delhi in 1976, on "Having a good tongue". For me, it was a sign. Coming from someone who embodies my mother for me, since my mother was indoctrinated into Sahaja and it became her regular practice. It was also confirmation of what I had felt. Coming as it did, through Mother's words, it was both humbling and heartening at the same time. A quiet Euphoria, quiet because it comes with much responsibility. You know that you must never revert back to your old decrepit, discarded ways.
So why I am writing this now, why am I sharing this very deep and personal insight about this experience of an uplifting shift in my consciousness, especially when I am usually silent about these things when it comes to my personal journey. I think it is because of Saumya's post and what it did for me.
Perhaps you have felt these 'siesmic' shifts in your consciousness, and in your inner world. It becomes my duty to pay it forward, so that you can revel in the advancement, and be propelled further towards the attainment of your goals. After all, can we move forward and onwards, unless we know we are on the right track, and getting results?
Copyright© 2014 by Veenu Banga
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