Two short lines from Neeru in a text message. Telling me her world will never be the same again.
“My Subhash left me alone. He is gone.” And, “I have no idea how will I live without him.”
We last met them in June of this year, when we all, as a family, visited them at their home in South Florida. Neeru and Subhash were always welcoming, with a large-hearted graciousness that made one feel valuable and a cherished visitor at their beautiful home, which Subhash completely refurbished to a very high standard. It had to cater to all of Neeru’s desired comforts in their retirement years. Who knew that would be the last time we would meet Subhash?
Neeru and I are childhood friends, and in our earliest photographs together, we are around two years old. She lived diagonally across my grandparents' home on Babar Road, where I was raised in my infancy and early years. We were constant playmates and grew up together as children. Our bond continued into our adolescence, and during our teenage years, we shared our crushes and heartaches. Our sari-wearing phase occurred at the same time, ushering us into our marriageability.
Neeru was the first amongst us to get married. We were in awe of her groom, with his “sone ke Baal,- with golden hair” as Neeru described him with a nervous excitement, after their first meeting. Subhash was a swashbuckling, tall, and handsome man. He really had “golden” hair, as bleaching hair was then in fashion amongst youth in Canada.
I clearly remember attending the wedding. Neeru recently shared a wedding photo that shows her friends, including me, watching the couple as they took their vows and performed the wedding rituals around the sacred fire. Subhash soon whisked her away to Canada.
As girls in proximity physically for long periods of time, we had developed emotional attachments and a secure complacency in our friendship. This was quickly reestablished when we reconnected, since Neeru’s move to Atlanta.
Subhash always exuded a genuine hospitality which was all embracing, and never wavered, in the years since Neeru and I reconnected as adults, several years ago. My awkward trepidation at our ‘first’ reunion meeting was soon dispelled as the decades gap was closed by the warmth with which we were greeted at her home. Subhash had a good-hearted, cheerful dignity and reserve about him. He displayed genuine care, and I felt protected around him, as if I were in a safe place in their home.
Subhash, even more so than Neeru, made me feel that I was not just Neeru’s friend but a valued addition to their lives. Subhash brought a proactive sincerity to his relationships. This aspect of his friendship helped nurture a deeper bond between us, and the frequency of our meetings increased, aided by the proximity since they moved down to Florida. I enjoyed their hospitality on numerous occasions, even staying overnight, with the persuasive encouragement from Subhash.
As we interacted more often and caught up on our lives over the years, I learned more about Subhash. He had been a good son, brother, and uncle. Subhash deeply cherished his own family and nurtured their two children, Neha and Neil; and fostered a strong marriage in which Neeru blossomed and grew more beautiful.
Earlier this year, Subhash and Neeru renewed their vows in bridal attire in the temple, with family in attendance.
Subhash was a good provider and devoted father. They put Neha through medical school, and encouraged her to complete her Residency in London, where Neeru also visited her. They were both very proud of Neha, and Subhash adored his granddaughters, Anaya and Siana. Neeru indulgently brags about the girls, especially Siana’s love of books and her reading stamina.
Neeru proudly recalled Subhash braving the early winter mornings in Toronto to take Neil to his hockey games, and he never wavered in his commitment, come hail, snow, or storms. They felt extreme pride in Neil’s success as a lawyer, and even more so as a wise, wonderful, and caring son, as well as a devoted husband to his lawyer wife, Catherine. The apple did not fall far from the tree.
Subhash’s open-door hospitality fostered strong family bonds, and Neeru’s younger sister, Archana (Bablee to us), and her husband, Barjinder, along with their children, often visited from Vancouver for extended stays. In fact, Bablee’s children were so close to Subhash that they trusted him with their confidences and valued his advice. Coming from a place of abiding love, Subhash built trust and respect with ease and efficiency. He could exert influence over the younger generation, who knew they could trust Subhash with their confidential issues.
It was lovely to meet with Bablee and Barjinder recently on one such visit, thanks to Subhash and Neeru, who drove down to Orlando with them. Despite his respiratory health issues, Subhash retained his zest for life, and living large. In this age where secular families have become a fashion and a norm, Subhash’s household flourished with the welcome additions of family and friends. I always felt at home around him.
Subhash had an excellent sense of design and an impeccable style. Their home reflected his good taste, his love of life, and his generosity with his own and others.
The void left with Subhash’s passing already echoes with the deep sense of loss felt by those who knew and loved him. With some people, it’s personal. That’s how I feel Subhash’s loss. It is hard for me to offer my condolences in just words. How can I, when I feel the loss too?
Subhash belonged not just to his own family, but to all of us who knew him and loved being in his presence, knowing that the precious friendship he offered was a rare gift to be cherished by all who were touched by his life. Those feelings, memories, and moments shared with Subhash are all part of life’s joyful days.
Neeru’s life will indeed never be the same; it will be colored with happy memories built with this lovable man. She will be kept busy carrying on his legacy. A giant amongst the generous. A class above the classiest. A husband who was the heartbeat of his wife. A father who showered his children with the priceless gift of Presence.
No one left empty handed from meeting him, whether they wanted or not. Being in the presence of Subhash was a gift. You will be dearly missed, dear Subhash, by all who knew you. We feel blessed to know you, and my family is the better for having benefited and been honored by your friendship.
Neeru, Neha, Neil, and their families will keep the torch burning bright. The world needs the illuminating example of such a life as yours, richly lived, with charity, determination, resilience and shared good fortune. Thank you for your friendship.
Veenu Banga
October 3, 2025.
2:57 am
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