Partly Cloudy

Before we had our phones, every day was a pleasant and unexpected surprise. Of course, one wasn't living in America then. And, of course, in those days, the weatherman was also always wrong. 

Between the Centigrade and Fahrenheit debates, I switched to C from F this past year. I find it more palpable, and switching is easily manageable on the App. This switch is not without its challenges, especially when I try to make sense of the temperature showing indoors, where it's F by default, with no option to switch to C. 

Anyway, here's how it went this past Friday. It was back to the days of not looking out for the weather and I simply went out to harvest some turmeric I've been growing for the past few years. The few leaves of the root that remained above ground and visible were all but dried. It had been growing in two separate large containers. I had fed them both with an adequate amount of seashells and possibly added some sand to their soil to ensure the turmeric did not get soggy, which it had in previous years because I had neglected the harvest. 

The 'partly cloud' was pretty good till the mid-morning, and I started to weed the west side of our house, where the weeds had overtaken the beds, the bushes, and the pots. I had a good rhythm going when suddenly the sun, despite the partly cloudiness of the sky, made its presence felt enough for me to warrant a hat, which I promptly went in and got for myself. 

I had already filled up one bin with dried leaves, twigs, trimmings, and the weeds, mainly the 'stick-tight' that thrives here. Usually, I let it grow, especially in the winter, as I had read it has health benefits (https://www.backyardnature.net/yucatan/bidens.htm ), and it occurred to me that some insects may benefit from it. 

Nature always communicates with us in different ways. While pulling out and uprooting these Stick-Tight plants, specific thoughts came to mind. The weeds and I developed a certain understanding. While I failed to capture every nuance of that weed's personality, it impressed me enough to foray into the pages as I put pen to paper at night:

Today, I took advantage of the Partly Cloudy sky and weeded and cleaned up the whole west side of the house. Harvested Haldi from two pots. One was an old recycling bin. Transferred a citrus growing there into the big round pot where Haldi grew. 

As I was pulling out the weeds, I noticed that in the dry soil, it comes out easily- pull it close to the bottom/ the root, near the ground. Realized it has shallow roots- like shallow people who are the weeds in our lives. But they were harder to pull out in the wet soil because when the ground received water, it fed the roots into establishing themselves. Essentially, the water engages with the earth- so it is with humans.  

We should not engage with the weeds- the narrow thinkers (if they think at all!) the material types, the cautious hypocrites, the scared, the fearful (of what?) - the kind that want to be your best friend because they 'like' you and don’t know about you, and feed preconceived notions. 

Also, these same people, like the weeds, have a vast spread out canopy- their stick-tight seeds ensuring propagation and survival of the species, lots to show, in flowers and foliage, if I may use that word here, but little substance where it counts, at the root. Shallow-rooted, such people like this weed. 

Nature always teaches me. Nature can teach us a lot of all that we need to know. Including patience. Most of all, humility. The dear precious trees. How I hate seeing them being cut or 'cleared' (seriously?!) to make room for things that will not last even a fraction of the life of a tree. If they could talk, what stories could the trees tell us? They would make stellar witnesses in the cause of justice. Perhaps that's why they don't speak. The trees have witnessed the unwitnessable?  

It was a productive Friday work day. I had done some replanting and potting, and while I did water the plants I had caused trauma to, I needed to do more. Instead, I was lazy. 

Fortunately for me, Saturday offered respite to those plants I 'disturbed' on Friday. It rained all day. It did not seem like a happy rain; it almost was a dispirited constant water shedding, like the skies were unclogging. However, nature and plants don't notice niceties, devoid of what must be ego in their parlance and hyper-sensitivity in ours. Nature receives with gratitude; we look a gift horse in the mouth. I can hug a tree and cry with no judgment, just support. 

The lessons from weeding serendipitously also echoed what had earlier come to me with a sudden onset of intense realization and understanding. I spoke it to my heart, spirit, and soul- I want to live a life of excellence. 

Too long have I let go of myself. Too long, too lost. Lost in the company of riff-raff, losing myself in the weeds. Too easily swayed, too readily selling my soul, too neglectful of nurturing my spirit, too dismissive of recognizing the desecration of my spirit. Too much of too much, too little of the little that ultimately matters. 

The entry in my journal reads:

I want to live a life of excellence. What stands in between a life of excellence and a life of mediocrity? Circumstances- but how do we fight them? It ends abruptly. I did not complete my thoughts. 

Serendipitously again, just today, I was thinking, why do I have to fight? I don't like to, so much easier to keep the peace. Please, God, don't let me be born again and have to fight just because that's a lesson I will have to learn because I did not fight in this life. If I don't learn this lesson in this life, in my next life, please give me a companion who will fight with me and for me. That's one of my fears, having to fight- the whole good vs evil saga. 

K asks me to write. I'm still not writing what she wants me to write—the real stories. 

"Do you not write because the writing would be too traumatic for you," she asks. 

Will the fighting resolve the trauma, I wonder? Unless I'm brave enough to fight, I will never know. 

Veenu Banga

February 18, 2024

3:21 am. 

They want to crowd out your best self, because they thrive by overtaking your territory, suppressing your aura.