"To Know him was to love him," Phil Spector was inspired by these very words on his Father's tombstone, to write the song, "To know him is to love him." For all of us who knew Sarjit Mama, it was the same. If you knew him, you loved him. There was no other option. My family, my children and the extended maternal family, were all blessed to have him in our lives.
It is hard to believe he is gone, and I'm not alone feeling this. Over two hundred other people came out today, June 5th, 2014 to pay their last respects and bid farewell to a good man, a great friend, and a remarkable human being. If the virtue Noble had to be personified, it would be embodied in Sarjit Mama. To even think of him, is to feel the love. He was a King among men, wealthy beyond riches because of his endless supply of giving and being there in your hour of need, and otherwise. Our hearts go out to my dearest Avtaar Aunty, and his three princesses, all of whom he loved dearly and was supremely proud of. Ameeta, Sangeeta and Vanita, are each special in their own way, and all of them have his goodness in them, nurtured by Avtaar Aunty.
Sarjit Mama's loving pride extended to his grandchildren, his nieces and his nephews and their families, all of whom today bid a final goodbye at the Antim Ardaas Prayer service in the South City Gurudwara in Gurgaon, India. Those of us far away, like my family and myself, his beloved friend and Mate Gurcharan and his family, cry our tears alone in distant lands, with no place to put down the heaviness of the grief in our hearts.
Sarjit Mama remains as he always was, very special to me. They say you cannot choose your family, but he CHOSE us to be his family. He showed this in every way, every day, from the moment I was born. Before that he CHOSE to call my mother his sister, and he shared the rest of his own family with us. His family became OUR family. Who does that? Who has that kind of a heart? How many such people walk this Earth? This extended family embraced my children and my children in turn were rewarded to have someone like Sarjit Mama to love as their own. I know this to be true, having loved him, that is very important to have someone in our lives about whom we can think of in such a way. It renews one's Faith in humanity, in a world otherwise largely embroiled in lies, hypocrisy and deception. Evils, that were too afraid to even come near Sarjit Mama.
So its goodbye today, our Dearest Sarjit mama. So tonight you will be the shiniest new star in the Heavens. I suppose the only way to see you again, will be to follow your good examples and embrace your virtues. Sarjit mama, among the many good memories you have left me with, there are also some Tangibles. Lest you forget, we had something very precious in common. See, with that thought, you made me smile amidst the tears flowing down my cheeks! You know what that is? Do you remember? It is the fact, that we both loved the same woman. And I loved her, before you did. You have to grant me that. I found my Avtaar Aunty first! She served you well and supported you in all your endeavors. She supported you in all your relationships, and made every house you ever lived in, a welcoming home and a place of refuge. In one of the darkest moments of my life, that refuge served me well, as it did several others. I just came, and I stayed. No questions were asked, no explanations required. Just comforts of a loving home, and they were mine, till I was ready to leave. The woman we both loved, in our own special ways, my dearest Avtaar Aunty, she loved you and served you till the very end of your days. Your goodness of Character, your noble and distinguished life, leaves her in high esteem in the hearts of all who you loved, all who knew you and in turn loved you. The love returned manifold.
I cannot say Goodbye, not when this heart beats having known the goodness of you. I am sure your Princesses feel the same, as does the rest of the family.
To know him was to love hymn..He was love, it was his hymn..
With warmest and happiest memories made to last a lifetime and beyond.
Your ever loving,
Veenu
Copyright© 2014 by Veenu Banga
Copyright© 2014 by Veenu Banga
4 comments:
Veenu, what a superb beautiful tribute to a great soul. With the heart-felt word-picture you have sketched of your mama , you have made us know this paragon of humanity whom we did not have the fortune to meet when he was here on earth.
What a beautiful tribute, Veenu. You are now sharing him with all of us in a way that blesses our lives too. Sending you big hugs from me and from Maria.
Through your writing, you spared no effort to pay the best tribute which Sarjit so rightfully deserves.
You chose the picture of a little mighty girl (holding the right hand of her dearest Mama) for your profile picture. Her facial expression, her determined, confident, and carefree look, her body language and posture of ease, standing beside a person she dearly loves and trusts, that little mighty girl does have a great personality.
Over the period of a lifetime, you both, have grown older but you are still holding
his hand as if, now, you wanted to say,
Thank you, Mama, for always being there for me" You haven't changed a bit, in all these years, Veenu! As Sarjit once said, "Like with computers, we are all, preprogrammed. If you are born, a kind man, you will stay kind for the rest of your life".
Very kind kind words from you, Armaity, Dawn and Gurcharan. Thank you for taking the time to notice, and to remark on this very personal blog post.
Thank you for making him your own, for he indeed belonged to the world. I am so happy I was able to share him with you. Just knowing of him, is like being touched by an angel. This morning, again I was thinking of my Sarjit mama, he is teaching me more lessons in his passing, than he did in life.
Gurcharan, thank you for sharing his thoughts about us being pre-programmed. I'm learning new things about him. You never know how much more there is to people, even to those you know and trust implicitly. One never needs reasons why we love or trust because sometimes people are just made from goodness, so one never wonders. Sarjit mama was like that, except he is continuing to grow in stature even after he is long gone to his eternal home.
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