The Cafe, it’s on Orange Avenue.
We sat there around a little square table,
And I could have sworn I felt you go by.
But when I looked, there was no one.
Then, I glanced up towards the door,
Expecting you to be standing there,
And then, you’ll come in and as you do,
With a determined gait, and the joy in your eyes
Hiding in plain sight, on a softly smug face,
You would walk determinedly towards me.
We were there so long, that group of friends,
No one felt alone, except sometimes I felt
Incomplete. No, no, not me, something about the afternoon.
That’s how you operate though.
That’s the modi’s operandi, with which you visit me.
The other day it was at another place, and sometimes
It’s even when I’m home with so much to do,
And so much going on. How do you do it? How?
How effortlessly you sneak in, front and center, around
Always there, sometimes making me more aware,
Sometimes making me feel annoyed, but always
The feeling. Of you being around.
Today, in Orange Avenue, I decided. Decided
To put an end to my waiting. No more waiting.
No more expectation, no, no, no. No more of this
This restlessness, this anticipation. They’re all so limiting.
What was I thinking? What would happen when you came?
We would talk, about books, maybe. About music? Yes,
I think that’s more of a probability. I think you’re the perfect man,
Simply, because I know you have music running in your veins.
Nevertheless, how long, how long can we talk? How long critique?
Hunger, thirst, sleep, shelter, work, day, night, shower, recreation.
There’s so much to life that drags us away. Responsibilities.
So what if you came? At some point all of my questions will be resolved.
Then what? Maybe, familiarity with your mind, will disappoint me.
No, not maybe, it’s bound to be. I think so.
So no more expecting, waiting, anticipating. I prefer it this way.
Open ended acquaintance. I don’t want to know if I’ve passed or failed.
If your mind meets mine at any common ground.
All those other questions and scenarios that crop up in relationships.
Any and all kinds. So what a relief, at the The Cafe, in Orange Avenue,
I decided, I prefer it this way. Knowing it’s pending, our conversation,
Knowing also, it may never be. That’s the way I like it.
Forever having something to look forward to.
Knowing, also, that when perfection is in one’s imagination,
It can be revised and further perfected. So, we, you and I
Are constantly on a journey, incomplete, all.
The journey, you, and maybe I, as I hone my craft
Of creating you, just the way I want you to be.
Veenu Banga
12:06 am
1/12/2023.
